There are various reasons why you might not want to have sex right now, and that is okay. Some women feel guilty about saying no when they do not feel like it, and that is perfectly normal.
Sometimes, it is to do with your circumstances; you are not in the mood for a quickie and there is no time to go into detail. Your kids are just a room away. Your job is giving you stress. You are having a headache. There is a lot to do around the house. And the list continues.
At times, it is not about you, but your partner. Most women do not get orgasm from penetrative sex. And since you are not getting any, you are not in the mood to give any, which is perfectly logical.
Whereas sex should not be selfish, if there is something wrong with the sexual health of your partner, such that they need to do it as if on the clock, then perhaps get help from a sexologist. Otherwise, tell them you scratch my back, I scratch yours, pal.
There are also physiological issues due to which you might not be in the mood for it. The impact of hormones on the lives of women is really not understood in its entirety; female bodies dance to the tune of hormones, and that is without any hyperbole.
The whys, ladies
Not being in the mood for it once in a blue moon is perfectly fine. However, if your libido is missing-in-action, you must get to the underlying cause. Having a satisfying sex life is important, and you not experiencing it then has implications for your health.
Here are some common ‘whys’ you might not be feeling it:
If you have just recently had a baby, you may not be feeling it. A major reason is the trauma that your body went under when giving birth. After birth, hormones are also all over the place, especially if you are nursing the baby.
Women with post-partum mood disorders like blues or depression are more likely to not have interest in sex.
One of the profound ways that sex drive takes a dip is through low self-esteem. When you think you are not pretty enough, you do not think your partner will be desiring you. Similarly, sex requires one to lower a lot of guards, and be vulnerable, which may not then be possible for those with low opinion of themselves.
If that’s the reason why you do not want to have sex, consult a therapist; no one should have to live with low opinion of their own self.
Sometimes, the problem lies with the medication that you may be taking. Some drugs do have lowered sex drive as the side-effect. It is most common with anti-depression medication like SSRIs and anti-psychotic pills.
You should never stop taking the medicine without consulting your doctor first. Hence, work this problem out with your healthcare advisor.
Your menstrual cycle has an important role to play in your sex drive. Before ovulation, it is higher, but some women get a bad case of PMS, due to which they might not be feeling it. Moreover, your desire may also fluctuate not only during the week, but during the day as well. Similarly, after or during periods also you might not be in the mood for sex.
If your symptoms of PMS are very extreme, then contact your gynecologist.
Stress and anxiety may also be behind your lack of libido. Naturally, when your brain is pressed with heavy thoughts, and your mood is bleak, you can hardly be expected to be thinking of something pleasurable like sex.
If you feel stressed, or fear you are depressed, you must seek the help of a mental health expert like those at Maroof International Hospital.